Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i drank out of a bidet.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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