Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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