Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
There are leaves in my underwear?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
