I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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