I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
