i just identified you from a description of your pipe
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
