I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
