It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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