I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
