You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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