can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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