yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
