it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
