So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize