he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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