So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
