Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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