Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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