if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
