he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
