Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
