you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
