I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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