The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The adults are the big ones right?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
