At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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