There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
