If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
