Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
