oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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