Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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