i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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