THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
