Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
