summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sext me about skeletons
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
