So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
