I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize