Dual....:-)
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
