Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
