Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
