it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
