WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
