It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize