Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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