I could make wine with my vomit
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
