I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
