Having a random hookup so left but love u
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize