We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
