butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
