can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
