tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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