He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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