Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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