Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
