I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
