I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
