Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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