hotel room ftw
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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