Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
