tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
