margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I am available for nakedness
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
