PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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