The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
