You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
